The Current Issue with Social Media: Respect

       

        Lately, I have found myself to be very competitive. I wouldn’t say it’s always been like this. More or less upon having children. Amanda discussed this a little in her post http://www.threefabmommies.com/2012/01/i-am-mother-dont-judge-me.html I don’t necessarily judge all the time but I do find that I have certain viewpoints I hold near and dear to my heart. We have a problem here.

Social media, well, maybe just media in general, paints a picture of what is acceptable and what is controversial. What is normal and what isn’t? If you mention anything that isn’t considered a cultural norm, you get ostracized. You’ve got to be kidding me. I’m all about debating the material and the subject at hand, but when you get rude with me or cynical... things start to piss me off. 

I get it. We can’t all be hippies. I couldn’t care less. However, don’t get snippy.  Let me go off for a second and explain why I am not as much of a hippy (hippie? MY GOD HOW DO YOU SPELL THAT WORD!) as I would like. 

1. I don’t have a garden. I strongly dislike insects and I refuse to get involved with killing them.
2. I don’t go outside all the time. I have allergies. I am a city girl. Get over it because I have. 
3. I don’t like the summer. We live in Texas and I’m sorry that I’m not in awe of the sweat my body produces. I like deodorant (the natural kind) and I refuse to smell like a compost bin. 
4. I am not zen. I find absolute peace in quiet but I find the mediation is really hard to do.... I’d rather be cleaning or sleeping.
5. I have considered homeschool but I don’t have patience. I can admit that.

         Now, back to what I was saying. It’s okay to have different viewpoints. When did it become a personal attack when someone disagrees with you? I recently unfriended someone who got into an argument about how soy was good for the body................. Listen, when you get all butt-hurt because I explain why it’s not and then you call me an idiot, we are going to stop talking. You are a flea. A pest. You have now become a nuisance and not someone I want to share my life with. 

Respect is something you earn. Respect is NOT something that comes naturally. It is a two way road. You look through a million mommy bloggers’ pages and anytime they post something that might raise a little question of how you raise a child, suddenly they become Satan. I cannot say this enough: It’s okay to disagree. When your maturity level drops and you start calling names, you look like the fool. 

STOP.

THINK. 

TYPE.

BOOM. DONE

Leslie's Weightloss Before Pictures

       

        So let’s talk about weight loss. I am currently minus 50+ pounds. I don’t feel any different... I know I look different but things just seem the same. A few weeks ago, I decided to start the Whole 30 Challenge. If you are unfamiliar with it I suggest you Google! In a nutshell: NO sugar, NO alcohol, NO grains, NO dairy, NO legumes, NO soy, and NOTHING processed whatsoever. The basis is to eat whole foods that will improve your life, not destroy it.

I lost 13 pounds. Fantastic. I cheated. I quit at 24 days. That shit was not fun and it put me in a horrible mood. They want you to break your bad habits. Well, I broke them... and now everytime I eat a brownie or something yummy... no satisfaction AT ALL. Are you freaking kidding me? Demolish my want for amazing things...... greeaaatttt. 

There has got to be something that changes my body. I may have found it... I guess we will see. I signed up for the Insanity/Shakeology Challenge! Say WHAT? What have I just gotten myself into? Have you actually seen the infomercial? I’m stupid... stupid awesome... okay sorry... Let me tell you something. Nothing makes me want to lose weight more than realizing that my ten year reunion is in 3ish years and I still weigh 45ish pounds more than I did in high school FML! 

More importantly- I am 24 almost 25 and I will not weigh 200+. Nope, not going to happen. It isn’t healthy. I am not a dude. I don’t lift super heavy weights... come on, Fatty McFatterson. Now, I don’t want to receive some emails from people saying “I’M NOT FAT AND I’M OVER 200!” Well, congratulations. Would you like another Snickers? In all seriousness, maybe that’s okay with you but it’s not okay for me. 

Let’s bring on the humiliation, right? You need to understand it has taken me a lot to post ‘before’ pictures of myself. You can hate me all you want and call me a fat cow... But remember I am in the process of making a change. So many of my friends have reminded me that this is a journey. Nothing good comes to you quickly and if it did... it might be an STD..... hahahahahhaahahahahaahahah okay. I’m sorry for that. Not really. Try not to vomit.

     Omg.... how many of my exes are going to see this and laugh... how many of my friends.... geesh this may be a stupid idea.........

'Ello 'Ello

      Well... Hello, lovelies.

      The last time we spoke I had just given birth to my son Phoenix. My, my how, the eight months has been too long to stay away from you *wink wink* There has been so much that has happened since June of last year. Let me start by explaining a little bit of our hiatus.
      Amanda, Brandi, and myself became a little overwhelmed with Three Fabulous Mommies. Honestly, we were getting a LOT of requests for giveaways. Which would normally seem like a great venture and a perfect way to expand the blog. HOWEVER, we started to resent blogging or at least I did. It was no longer sharing my life with people and making a difference. It turned into "how many views are we getting?" "How can we get more people to read our content? Oh! A giveaway!" Do you all know how much time goes into a giveaway. We are all parents, Brandi and Amanda work, and well I was pregnant... Ain't nobody got time fo dat.

     What brought us back? Well... I have been wanting to share my journey with you. I say journey like we are in The Hobbit or some shit. I feel that I should have some sort of outlet once again. Two kids, staying at home? GEESH!
     Okay so here's a nutshell of what's happened since we last spoke:
1. We moved into a house. Not our own, we rent, but still a house with a backyard.
2. Charlot is 4. Phoenix is 8.5 months currently.
3. I am still breastfeeding and plan to nurse until he wants to stop... probably not having much choice on this one.
4. I stopped going to school. Obtaining an education should be a fun time. It should never turn into a drag or something that you find annoying.
5. I have lost a total of 47 pounds... Hell yes. I rock... BOOMSAUCE
6. Currently, I am on the Whole 30 challenge. If you don't know what that is, check it out. Whole 30 We have been eating Paleo for a few months and that definitely helped me lose some baby weight. Which by the way, I weighed less postpartum than I did pre-Phoenix. I guess you could say I didn't really have baby weight.
      If you would like to follow my Whole 30 challenge (I am on Day 4 going into Day 5), feel free to follow me on Instagram.

Phoenix Preston’s Birth Story

3FM's own Brandi Thompson took this photograph! If you are interested in her services check out her website!

I finally had my baby boy!!! I’m sure some of our readers would be pleased to know that at 41.5 weeks I had a natural, non-medicated birth with a midwife! Plus sized with NO complications whatsoever. You CAN have a perfect birth outside of the hospital. Under the care of an OBGYN I would have been considered high-risk and forced to undergo unpleasant and unnecessary testing with most doctors not even giving me the choice to go through with a VBAC. Let me tell you, I am healed. As some of you know I had an extremely scarring birth with my daughter. At the time I was unaware of how traumatized I was.

Now as I write this I will be honest with you, I thought I would’ve paid more attention to the clock throughout this whole labor thing. I got hit SO hard with contractions I didn’t even look once. I was hoping to keep people updated through the experience but nope... didn’t touch a piece of technology the entire time. There are some gross parts in this story. It’s a birth story, let me remind you. Don’t want to hear nasty details I suggest you click off to a birth story from some magical fairy that will lie to  you about the intensity. Here we go, lovelies:

At around 40 weeks, I was starting to get really anxious about having our wee-one. I was tired of the hip pains, tired of the sleep problems, and tired of being so damn uncomfortable. Who wouldn’t be around that time? This pregnancy wasn’t horrible but I was having one issue. Pregnancy hemorrhoids. Now, I wasn’t necessarily eating a lot of fiber or drinking copious amounts of water to counteract that. So, in a sense, I asked for it. The fear of pushing suddenly hit me. How was I going to push this baby out with these nasty bumps on my tush?

A week went by... 41 weeks. This pregnancy isn’t going to end. My lovely midwife, Tina, sat me down and explained that Texas law requires me to have the baby at a hospital if I go to 42 weeks. Panic. Panic. Panic. Then suddenly... peace. I was okay with that possibility. If I had to have this baby in a hospital then that’s just what it was. However, Tina was not willing to give up so easily. We bombarded my body with natural herbs, tinctures, and labor inducing karma (lol that last part was mostly me). Tuesday began the regime: 10 red raspberry leaf capsules every 30 minutes, a few doses of Labor Enhancer tincture and cottonwood tincture, then the mega pill... Nature’s Sunshine Master Gland two pills every 30 minutes... However, after one dose of the Master Gland... my body kicked up the heat. I started getting contractions Wednesday night that were far more regular than they had been.

Every 5 minutes for 3 hours with breaks of 15-20 minutes. Nothing regular at all. The intensity was manageable but getting a tad stronger than I expected. Thursday morning, however, I was getting slammed with irregular contractions that varied in intensity. These were becoming harder to focus through. 

NOTE: I was using the Hypnobabies program. If you are using that and it works for you, congratulations. It went straight out the damn window when my contractions were coming. I couldn’t relax my body, let alone stay in ‘center’ or ‘off’ during these pressure waves. The only thing that honestly helped me was trying to breathe through each contraction and remembering that I would get a short break until the next one. 

I texted Tina and told her my timing on the contractions. She wanted them a little more consistent before meeting at the birthing center. I told myself I could bare through this. I could do this. This is what I wanted. After about 30 minutes, Tina called but I was completely unable to focus through a contraction let alone a phone call. Josh answered and Tina quickly realized things were progressing. Speedily, we got our bags and made a run for the birthing center 20 minutes away. The entire time drama came over me. Was I going to make it? Was this going to be a Walmart parking lot baby?

Finally, we got to the birthing center. Tina checked me and told me I was a 5. (Later she told me that I was actually a 3 but she moved me to a 5 and was trying to give me hope! Which TOTALLY worked!!!) However, I was a little saddened that I wasn’t further. In that Hypnobabies stuff you visualize your dilation and I had thought I was at least a 6. Oh well. Anywho... For about 2 and a half hours I labored outside of the tub on a birthing ball and inside a water jet tub. The ball was amazing and so was the tub! The water took almost all of the pressure off my back. Back labor is a hot mess, let me tell ya. 

Things were suddenly becoming foggy. I felt like I was drugged. Pain isn’t even the word I can use. Intense is the only way I can describe it. My back seared. I felt so much pressure that my body writhed with each peak. What the hell was happening to me... why did I sign up for this. Tina did a quick check. 7cm... WHY AM I NOT MORE DILATED THAN THIS!!!!!!!!!!!  My chiropractor, Jenna, came to the birth and did a few adjustments to help me out. It felt amazing! I instantly became more relaxed.

Wait. What is this new sensation? I need to go to the bathroom................ Maybe I want to push? I told Audrey and Tia (Audrey is a student midwife and close friend of Tina and Tia is a nursing student attending births during the summer. Both of them are amazing women! I loved my birthing team!) that I thought I might want to push. After they explained that if pushing felt good to do it, I quickly jumped on that wagon. IT FELT SO AMAZING TO PUSH. 

After about 10 minutes, a feeling of absolute desperation hit me. I was never going to have this baby. I was going to push for hours and never get anywhere. Tina and Audrey kept trying to convince me he was only two knuckles in, one knuckle in, he’s crowning. I wasn’t buying it. All I could feel was pressure on my lower back and I wanted it gone. Then the fire.......

You cannot prepare yourself for that ring of fire. There is no book, no YouTube video, and definitely no anatomical book to describe that sensation. Stretching. Burning. I wouldn’t say agony or really even pain. Just- intense. Push past that. I can do this. PUSH. Pop. Head is out. Everything was so surreal at this point. Josh was excited! All the emotions I had bottled up he was able to show. I felt drugged with hormonal surges. After about three more pushes he was out. I felt his face, his turning, his shoulders. Josh caught our son at 5:33pm and placed him on my chest. Gooey with his eyes open and staring right at me. Instant love. I didn’t cry and I honestly thought I would. In all these birth videos you see women tearful, emotional. I was silent and spaced out. 

Was this real? 

Did I really just do this? I actually completed my journey to repairing an emotional wound left from an OBGYN who was present for herself and not for me. I wear the belly scar of a woman deceived into traditional American medical practice.

I am healed. 

Hello and Apologies from the Three Fabulous Mommies

*tap tap* Is this thing on? Brandi here, sheepishly blogging after.. I’m not sure how long. Truthfully, I’ve had a review saved for more than a month just waiting on photos. I have recipes to share, ideas, thoughts, Leslie’s awesome baby shower and more. But, it’s been radio silence here, and why? When we started this blog, we started it with great intentions. Not intentions of making money, but of sharing all the ideas we had and feel passionately about. However, we piled this on top of already three very full plates.

I (Brandi) already run a full time business that keeps me very busy, plus I do it while taking care of an active toddler and trying to keep my home at a reasonable level of mayhem.

Amanda works a full time office job, has two young children, and plays and organizes soccer games on top of all her mom duties.

Leslie was in school this last semester, while also balancing a young child and is currently very pregnant and ready to ‘pop’ any day now.

We’re all busy moms, who are trying to have sort of life, keep our homes running smoothly and all of our relationships in a happy place. It’s a lot, as you can all understand!

Unfortunately, it was just really hard to keep up the momentum we wanted to keep up. I think we ended up just shutting down a bit because we were putting so much stress on ourselves about it. But, we haven’t given up! We still have things we want to share. I do have several things I need to review, but for the time being we will not be accepting anymore products. We don’t want to promise things we have a hard time delivering, just due to our crazy schedules. We still want to share things to make your life better, but perhaps on less of a strict schedule. We hope all you busy moms out there (and everyone else) can understand where we’re coming from and forgive us for falling down on this project.

Much love,
Brandi, Amanda and Leslie

Getting Caught Up

          Why hello, lovelies! It’s been too long. I must apologize for my absence. With finishing up the semester, being jumbo pregnant, and preparing the home for our new incoming resident, I have been extremely busy. Let’s get you all caught up, yes?

I’m currently 36 and a half weeks pregnant! I am continuing to attend prenatal yoga and my chiropractic visits. Honestly, I really think I feel better than most preggos around this time of gestation. Yes, my hips and inner thighs hurt constantly. Yes, there is an immense amount of pressure on my cervix from the baby. Yes, I am fatigued most times of the day. BUT I am happy. Waiting patiently for his appearance seems the hardest thing to do. There are times when I feel like I just want this all to end. Being in pain and tired all the time sure can make a girl feel down. 

Time is fleeting. This Saturday I hope to have a nice date with the hubby. Our 4 year anniversary is coming up soon. We have both accepted that we won’t be celebrating out on the town this year. Texas July with a newborn and a 3 year old outside of the home just isn’t going to happen. That’s alright. Plenty to do at home and the air conditioning isn’t anything to complain about. 

We are hoping to be searching for a house around late September. *Fingers crossed* Please send your good thoughts and well wishes! We will definitely need them. Of course, I will keep you updated as to what is happening in relation to that but the planning process of loan qualification starts far sooner than that! The idea of having a home versus an apartment is something Josh and I both can’t get off our minds. He wants a space to “build stuff” and I just want a backyard for my dog and my kids. (Not to mention the possibility of painting my walls something other than eggshell white... vomit!) 

I hope you are all doing well. Take some time for yourself and your family!

Peace, love, and Texas heat!

Boys will be boys…

I think I am losing more and more patience with my 4 year old.

He randomly screams. He always wants to wrestle no matter what time of day it is. He fights bed time by claiming he is still hungry or that he is scared (this gets Daddy to do the infamous “Scary Dance” with him). In the morning he begs to watch Power Rangers and huffs and puffs if he doesn’t get his way. I get stabbed with foam swords repeatedly or shot with the Captain America disk shield. He loves baseball, soccer, football, and basketball and fully believes that “no throwing balls in the house” means kicking or tossing is still allowed. The word ‘no’ means nothing to him when we say it, but everything to him when he says it.

He is just… well… he is just… a rough and tumble, awkwardly tall and gangly, blonde haired, hazel eyed, all American boy.

This exhausts me.

Recently Carrick had his 4 year old check-up with the doctor. I explained my exasperation to the doctor in hopes that he would say something like, “oh, his actions are not normal” or “maybe you are just feeding him too much sugar.” Nope. His response? “He is a boy. Boys will be boys.”

What?

What is this you say?

I have to just put up with this craziness?

As I hustled him back to the car after the appointment I thought about this. “Boys will be boys? That is the best advice you can give me?” All the popular parenting books are advising me to raise my child as gender neutral as possible right now and you are telling me that he is just a boy. I thought the phrase “boys will be boys” was supposed to be vulgar and stereotypical as explained in a recent article in The Washington Post.

The truth is, yes, boys will be boys as toddlers. I am not encouraging it, but I am not going to stop it either. This is how my son grows and learns. He is good in his class in school. He doesn’t fight with other kids. He has a tender, loving side to him. Most importantly of all, he is respectful of most everyone and everything he comes in contact with. And I realize, that is where my focus needs to be as a parent of a boy… a parent of a child.

My son is all boy right now, and I know, no matter how many times I get stabbed with that foam sword, that is how he shows me that he loves me.